- Survival Spanish = stringing together all the words you know in Spanish w/gestures, vocal intonation, and self-effacing laughter.
- You must have a camel toe or go home and put your jeans in the dryer right now. O, come mas frijoles negros y arroz.
- Funerals in CR involve carrying a casket down the middle of the dust basin/road- and don't forget your best flip flops and camel toe. Camels don't take the day off just b/c somebody died.
- The best way to transport a dead calf is by wheelbarrow.
- "Chacos" = an ancient word for dirty feet
- **For best results, water your gravel daily. If this gravel happens to be in the middle of the road, so be it. This rule applies to stray dogs as well. **
- The real Bavaria, Germany never made a beer as good as Costa Rica made Bavaria, cerveceria Costa Rica
- When in CR, watch for falling bottles of Coca-Cola. They burst open to become beautiful Coke fountains, bathing you all in their sticky goodness.
- still doesn't get Lucia's feet clean, though
- Traditional CR'can Breakfast: beans, rice, egg
- Traditional CR'can Lunch: beans, rice, plaintain
- Traditional CR'can Dinner: beans, rice, bistec
- Sara y Lucia's Breakfast: jamon, queso, pan con vegetales, mantequilla, mostaza
- Sara y Lucia's Lunch: soy chips
- Sara y Lucia's Dinner: see breakfast menu
- San Jose: not the shithole everyone, namely the Bible, says it is
- The worst road in CR: valiant attempt at shaking all the excess black beans and rice weight out of you
- Tamarindo: sweatiest place in the Western hemisphere
- Beware commenting on Lucia's driving. It leads to immediate brushes with death
- Diahatsu Terios: Like a rock. w/very small seats and shitty shocks, but a full sized spare tire.
- Apparently, construction workers in Alaska make enough money to go on vacation for 6 months each year. In contrast, construction workers in CR work 7 days/week starting at 6 am sharp.
- Don't befriend the first girl you meet at the hostel
- TACA/LACSA airlines: not as shady as it sounds. But your snackie will be jalapeno flavored plaintain chips at 4 am.
- Forget the euphemisms for mineral water, it just has gas here
- Surprisingly expensive items at the grocery store: queso cottage, deli-style mustard, turkey en varias rebanadas
- Cheapest grocery item: bananas at 4 cents
- Tap water: 100% safe to drink!
- Mayonesa: so popular it has its own book
- Scarce: paper towels/napkins or pretty much anything to wipe your hands on.
- All eligible bachelors are 19 or younger and think slut is a dirty word
- German backpackers, not as charming as you have been led to believe. For that matter, the American ones aren't either.
- Rando' dogs.
- En resumen: Helluva good time. Pura Vida.
We're out,
Las Ticas
P.S. Por favor, comment copiously to show you appreciated our efforts to keep you entertained :)
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2 comments:
Very entertaining! Thanks for giving me a daily distraction. Glad you had fun.
I'm planning on checking out la pura vida someday ... good advertising :) If you ever miss it, you can just buy some light beer, make beans and force everyone to talk in stilted Spanish to bring back the good times!
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